He’s obsessed with how famous he is, boasting about his fame dozens of times.

I thought of various clever-seeming ways to organize this cornucopia of quotes from the diary of former Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, Anthony Fauci. But that would mean cutting some of these gems. So here they are, in ascending order of embarrassing awfulness.

— “Apparently, a lot of people at the Pentagon admire me very much …”

— “The nurses went absolutely wild to see me, they were squealing and laughing and clapping. It was something to behold.”

— “Did I mention he’s easy on the eyes?” — Fauci, quoting The Anthony Fauci Fan Club Twitter account (which he does at length).

2.) If the Real Housewives had a baby with George Santos, it would be Anthony Fauci.

— “A Gala event was held tonight… It was the highest level of AAA list you could imagine in Washington DC.”

— “One person said that Tyra [Banks] was sexy, but I was even more sexy than she was. She [said] ‘that is true and my mother is in love with you.’ Zing 😊”

— “I am such a valued spokesperson and a good communicator…”

— “Wonderful brunch… the typical Washington A list was there.”