This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Chatrine Siswoyo, a communications leader. Her words have been edited for length and clarity.

I turned 40 this year, and I still think about the moment I almost forgot how to define myself.

It happened 10 years ago on a plane. We were flying from Singapore to Hong Kong. My husband had accepted a new role there, and after a long stretch of conversations about timing, family, and careers, I decided to pause my career to follow him.

I'd spent about 6 years working in journalism, public relations, and marketing across Indonesia, the US, and Singapore, for companies like Philips and Twitter.

So when the immigration form arrived on that flight, and I reached the line asking for "Occupation," I expected my instincts to take over.

Instead, I froze. I stared at the page for a long time. Then I wrote nothing.

It forced me to confront a question I had never really faced before: Who am I without my career? It sounds small, but for someone who had always tied my identity so closely to my work, it felt like a quiet existential crisis.

I was raised in Central Java by parents who used a simple philosophy — if you work hard enough, very little is out of reach.

I studied international relations at Arcadia University in Pennsylvania. Back then, my plan had been to become a war journalist.

My first job, a broadcast journalist at Voice of America in Washington, DC, brought me close to that dream.