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What Do 'Otroverts' Say in Therapy? These Patterns Keep Coming Up

What Do 'Otroverts' Say in Therapy? These Patterns Keep Coming Up

Think you’re neither an introvert nor an extrovert? You’re about to feel so seen.

Love taking personality tests, reading about pop psychology and learning more about yourself? You might have heard about “otroverts”. If not, no worries: we’ll catch you up to speed.

Psychiatrist Dr Rami Kaminski coined the term in his 2025 book, The Gift of Not Belonging. Otroverts are essentially people who look and act like extroverts, but need their “introvert time.” They often feel “othered” (“otro” means “other”).

If that description sounds like you or a loved one, you might want some insight into common otrovert struggles and therapists’ advice. If that’s the case, read on as therapists share common concerns they hear from otroverted clients, plus their expert-backed responses.

Otroverts want to be social and relationally oriented, but it drains their nervous system. Those energy levels can cause them to feel confused and frustrated.

“They’ll say things like, ‘I can spend the whole night with friends and feel totally drained the next day,’ and feel bad about it,” said Claudia Johnson, a therapist and the owner and clinical director at PNW Sex Therapy Collective.

The confusion makes sense. They may wonder, if they’re “people-people,” why are social interactions so draining? And if they recharge with alone time, what makes them feel so guilty and anxious about doing it?

Those experiences and feelings can also confuse or upset their loved ones.

“Many describe difficulty navigating relationships where partners or loved ones expect a consistent level of availability, because at times, they can show up fully,” said Amelia Kelley, a trauma-informed therapist, author, podcaster and researcher. “When their capacity shifts, their needs change, and this is often misunderstood.”

Over time, she continued, they begin to mask their limits and push through exhaustion, feeling shame and depletion. It’s a rough cycle.